When you get engaged you gush over the details, the ring, you tell everyone, you change your Facebook status, you log into Pinterest and pin and pin like a mad woman. But there are moments reality hits you, and you start to think about who to invite. Your flooded with family and friends telling you who to invite and who not to invite. Should you really invite that Aunt that you haven’t seen in 10 years to your wedding just for a gift? The answer is No, you don’t have to.
When you sit down and think about who you want to invite to one of the biggest days of your lives, think about who you love and think are the most important in your life. I know you want invite everyone – and have no hard feelings among family but, sometimes your venue can only hold 100 people and you can’t go over that. Especially in the chilly fall and winter months where you can’t have the doors open so people can spread out to the outside.
My suggestions :
first figure out how many people you can or want to invite – this depends largely on the venue and budget
determine ironclad rules : determine who gets to bring a +1 and are kids invited …. ect.
create a list with two columns – label them Family & Friends
highlight the ones that are most important to you two – those you can’t image the day without them
go from there and add in the 2nd closest family and friends and so on till you get to your max amount of invites
-don’t be scared to eliminate the aunts, uncles, cousins you haven’t seen or talked to except for family events, friends you have lost contact with, co-workers or roommates.
Don’t let your Parents get under your skin with who you should and shouldn’t invite – sometimes they are thinking more of “Maybe you will get a gift, or money from so and so, you should invite them”. That is NOT a reason to invite someone to your wedding! If you feel pressured to invite someone, invite them to the dance only. You can cut up your list into, ceremony, dinner and dance, and dance only too to help with budget and the must have lists.
Do you have friends that are single, and want to invite them? Go right ahead – do not feel obligated to add the +1 to their invite so they will for sure know someone at the wedding. Weddings are great opportunities to meet new people, and who knows they just might “hook up” or meet “the one”!
If you feel bad about not inviting them, then just invite them to the dance. Most people do not feel like they are less loved or uninvited – they are just happy to be part of the day and celebrate with you.
These are only things I have learned through the years of talking with clients, friends, and helping family members plan their wedding. Just remember this is your wedding, and not a large party for the town – it is meant to be shared with the people you love and care about. You don’t have to invite the whole town. Remember to communicate with each other, the venue, caterer and photographer – we can all help you figure out to to accommodate how ever many people you invite.
With Lots of love – Christine